He Loves to Clean

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45

I have three friends with three very different hearts. We'll call the first person Alex. Alex's heart is in darkness, she is deceived about who God is, how much God loves her and the reality of the kingdom of God. Brad is the second person. His heart is aware, he professes Christianity, he wears the “I'm a Christian T-shirt” but he refuses to look at his heart. He is keeping parts of himself hidden from God. He can’t take the blame for anything; he doesn't see himself as needing help and in reality the grace of God. He feels like he deserves more and better. Jesus is there offering him help but he won’t let Him in because he doesn't want Him to see the evils that are there, thus turning Jesus into an unwanted gift! The third heart I want to tell you about is a beautiful heart. Carey's heart is open, she is aware of things that need work, she wants to be close to God, it’s apparent in her attitudes and actions her decision to follow Christ even though she is struggling greatly with fears and failures. She's on the road to salvation now all she has to do is keep the faith.

I'm sure we all know people in each of these states. My question to you is which heart do you have? I have had all three hearts and I would like to share the journey I've been on over the past year and each phase of my heart during the journey.

Like Alex Satan has had me deceived at many different times in my life but the most recent and life changing was after I left my second husband of five years. Satan gives you doubts and fears you don't even know you have until you look back on the event. When I began to turn back to my old ways, drinking too much, partying, yada yada, Satan began to deceive me by telling me it was ok. I deserved to have fun, I deserved to make myself happy, it’s ok, really it’s ok, and I really believed it was. So we get to divorce time and the Bible and every practicing (I say practicing because I mean the Christian who is seeking God and finding answers through the Word of God) every practicing Christian I knew says to me, sorry Charlie but divorce is wrong, God hates it and it will destroy your family. No no no, that can’t be true Satan said, you can divorce him, look even the Bible says you can. He'll never change, you'll never be happy with him, it will never work! You see how crafty Satan is, you see how he planted doubt and attacked my faith, and I allowed it to happen, instead of rebuking him and relying on the truth that God can heal a marriage I let those doubts and fears take over because spiritually I was weak because of my lifestyle at the time. So anyway on with the divorce I went……until God came back around again. Lesley, obey me, go back to your husband, have faith. WHAT!! FINE, I'll go back but just so you know God it’s never going to work. So essentially I went back with no faith. Now my heart is like Brads, I'm wearing the “I'm an obedient child of God T-shirt” but my heart is hard. All the doors to all the rooms are closed. Its filthy inside those rooms but I don't need help cleaning them because (my husband ) is to blame for all my problems, this is all his fault and I had nothing to do with it, I don't need help, I didn't do anything wrong. I'm screaming I don't want or need the help of the Father or the Spirit of Jesus to clean my heart; it’s just fine how it is. How sad! How sad Jesus must feel when we don't want him, when we send Him away. He knows the rooms are dirty; He sees all the filth, and guess what, He loves to clean! He died to clean, and He already knows and sees what’s in those rooms, all we have to do is open the door and walk hand in hand through the door. When we examine the mess together, when we say here it is, I made a mess. I'm bitter, I'm angry, I drink too much, I'm jealous, I have secret sins, here they are, Jesus will grab a broom and get to work. Ok so back to my journey, I went back with no faith and not wanting the gifts of the Father. The symbolism there is crazy. When I went back my husband gave me a new wedding ring, it was beautiful, what I had always imagined my ring would look like. When I decided to leave a second time I willingly gave up the ring. It was an unwanted gift just like the beautiful Gift of salvation and the healing help of Jesus Christ the Son of God. So I walked away saying see I knew it wouldn't work, almost blaming God when in truth it was my doubt and unbelief in the power of God that wouldn't allow healing to occur in my life or my marriage.

Third time’s the charm right, God again through one of His children makes it very clear to me that His will is my marriage and I have to believe and have faith that He can and will heal it ! God shows me my heart, we look at it together and guess what --- It’s evil!! A hard heart is unaware of any problem or need for change while an open heart has an awareness of how big the mess really is and how great the need of the Holy Spirit to help clean it up. So now my heart has become like Carey's, it’s beautiful to the Father. I begin to acknowledge sins and attitudes and wrong thinking and behaviors and I allow the Holy Spirit through prayer and Bible reading to modify and change the components. It's a hand in hand journey and you have to place your hand in the hand of the hand that died for you! (old hymn)(great song) So I began to build my faith, I would say out loud I want God’s will, my marriage is God’s will, my marriage is my husband, I want my husband. Now as far as feeling that at first and for a long time I didn't but in faith, (Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 another version states it like this -Now faith is the assurance that what we hope for will come about and the certainty that what we cannot see exists.) That’s the key. In faith I did it, I made myself do it even though fear and doubt and feelings told me not to and guess what eventually fear and doubt went away and feelings began to change so now there's just faith. After months of having and practicing unknowing faith I now know that God is healing my marriage! Praise God!

This journey has brought me to a new place; the state of my heart now is almost indescribable. I believe I am experiencing the Kingdom of God in my heart. Right here and now just like Jesus talked about, exactly what he offered two thousand years ago. I'm walking in the Kingdom of God and what can you compare it to!

You have it…You lose it…But when you find it…You rejoice!! In the kingdom of God is much rejoicing!

I pray that these words will challenge and inspire you to take a deep look with the help of the Father at your heart. What’s in there? Open those doors together, I promise nothing will surprise Jesus, He knows and sees everything you have ever done or even thought. Allow Him to fill those rooms with His spirit and you will begin to experience the kingdom of God right here on earth. Dig deep I promise you'll never regret accepting the gifts God wants to give you if you'll let him. Lesley Syfrett Hays